How do we know for sure that Season 4 of the Real Housewives of Atlanta has been a general snooze? Because the bulk of this episode occurred at curbside check-in. This season is reminiscent of last year’s New York Housewives. Not much happens. The women snipe. The producers bet everything on an action-packed trip to an exotic locale. South Africa is this season’s Morocco. Another handicap of this season I think is the self-imposed separation of Kim. Love or hate that tacky bitch, she fills up a scene. I’m guessing Bravo slipped Miss Joyce a hundred to instigate that failed make-up scene between NeNe and Kim last episode. No dice. No drama.
What happened this episode? NeNe clung tighter to her new friend Marlo, an alliance I’m guessing won’t last the season. The two women admire each other’s style. NeNe loves a jumper. Marlo a Gucci bag. “I’m 5’10, Marlo’s 5’10,” NeNe said of their chemistry. “When I walk into a room, I own it. When she walk into a room, she almost owns it.” Marlo offered NeNe a tour of her closet and tried to give NeNe one of her Chanel bags. But NeNe only accepts inappropriate gifts from oil-greased men so she giddily demurred. Downstairs, a chef Marlo hired for the day whipped a meal up for the women while NeNe groaned about Africa. Marlo shushed her and told her to go already, surely the Housewives would behave in the Motherland. NeNe, who rightly guessed that Cynthia as her sole ally would be both boring and unimpressive, told Marlo to come along. (I picture a frazzled Uncle Billy from It’s a Wonderful Life recalibrating the budget to accommodate Marlo’s safe passage.)
Listen, I know she’s all kinds of obnoxious, but my word are Kroy and Kim dear with each other. Yes you have to get past moments like this one: “The one time we tried to get frisky Brielle came around the corner like ‘Hey, I want to introduce you to the neighbors,’” laughed Kim. But their horniness seems built upon a genuine friendship and it’s refreshing to see a couple on one of these shows who actually likes each other.
There was an extended scene of Kim getting wrapped in an expensive Ace bandage while a skeptical Kroy, with baby KJ adorably strapped to his chest, looked on. “Do you know how much work it takes to lose fat,” he wondered. Hush your mouth, dear. Kim doesn’t like the W word. Intercut with Kim waddling around in her sexy mummy casing were scenes of Kandi huffing and puffing to her trainer’s orders. Life isn’t fair. Kandi had to go to battle against a mound of truck tires. Kim got to bounce on a mini-tramp while her doting husband’s cargo shorts hid his erection. Quick question, in regards to the kids in the pool. When did Brielle get those boobs and shouldn’t she be wearing a one-piece?
Here’s Cynthia on her hopes for the Housewives’ trip to Africa: “Africa!” By the way, Peter wonders why his wife is going on their honeymoon with NeNe instead of him. And also why his wife looks so ecstatic at the notion of 10 days without him?
NEXT: Sweetie almost sets herself on fire.