Can we stay in Hawaii forever? And just have the whole series be about Lisa and Kyle getting into their various shenanigans while draped in loose, parrot-colored fabrics? The last two episodes have been winners, with a highlight surely being Lisa’s generous rump getting stuck in the balcony divider as Kyle ribbed her for using outdated terms like “humping.” I’ve missed the palsy dynamic between these two. What a treat to see their friendship get a tropical reprieve from Taylor’s absorbing cloak of heavy drama.
They weren’t the only ones reconnecting on this long weekend away. As I live and breathe, Adrienne allowed Paul to touch her. The show opened with the couple on a hike to Sweetheart Rock. “It’s been a long time since Paul and I have actually…” – oh dear, what’s coming? – “held hands. I’d probably say, I don’t know, years? That’s really bad.”
Yikes, that is bad. Though can you blame her really? Did you get a load of his thick bunched white socks? At the top of the rock Adrienne and Paul shared a sweet little kiss, but then her stopwatch went off. Ten minutes were up and Adrienne’s heart shriveled in boredom.
It was time to hear from Kim in her secretary blouse. Share with the at-home audience just what in the world is going on with you, dear: “People are late sometimes,” she twitched and shrugged into the camera. “People miss planes. It happens. Oops!”
Well, Kim and Ken finally made it to Lanai and the production crew had cleverly arranged for them to stay in the suite right next to her clucking sister. This was good news because it helped justify a shot of Mauricio wearing nothing but his vacation white shorts. (I’m simultaneously impressed and disappointed that the editing team resisted a quick cut back home for a shot of Portia playing in the bath with her rubber duckie while her nanny sung to her about the Itsy Bitsy Spider.)
Kyle couldn’t believe that she had to endure adjoining balconies with her sister’s skeevy boyfriend and that Kim failed to even announce her arrival. But how could Kim be expected to come say hello when she was busy breaking down the difference between male and female ducks? Also, let it be said that that bath towel was more flattering than any of Kyle’s evening dresses throughout the episode.
NEXT: Kim can’t handle the truth.