The Paris adventure ended on a benign note. The gang boarded a boat and appreciated the flattering light. At dinner Brandi’s parents Ken and Yolanda doted on her like it was her 16th birthday. Lisa looked especially like a Charlie’s angel in Jaclyn Smith waves and feather earrings. Yolanda gave Brandi a pair of awful turquoise heels whose straps wrapped up her legs like a snakeskin ACE bandage. Kim looked extremely bored and then gave an inarticulate toast thanking everybody for sharing the experience of Paris with her experience. Giggy stamped his little front paws on the table and demanded faster service.
Back home Marissa approached Kyle wondering if Mauricio might want to sell her recently deceased father-in-law Richard Zanuck’s 18,000 square foot, 11,000 of it devoted to a foyer, house? Kyle gracefully resisted grinning like a wildcat as she did calculations in her head. Once Mauricio got a look at the grand estate, which resembles more of university, he suggested they list it for $23 million. The $7 million worth of trees they’ll sell off separately at the Santa Monica farmer’s market. Meanwhile Kevin Lee Shee Shee Shee tootled on over to Lisa’s to start planning their housewarming/vow renewal ceremony.
But the funniest bit of the evening was Yolanda and David’s photo shoot for an unnamed Asia magazine.David only had an hour to cough up for this deal, what with Barbra waiting, and Yolanda was nervous he was going to frown upon her curled hair. Instead he reserved his judgment for her sequined, mesh tentacle dress. “Touch her, David,” the photographer instructed as the rich couple hovered together on an expensive sofa. Like a minor character in Superbad, David pretended to cop a feel of his wife’s headlights. Later the couple draped themselves on a stairway. David was just going with the mood I guess and presented his tie to Yolanda’s mouth. So she gave it a little kiss which made him frown at the invisible smudge on the fabric. Oh Yolanda, does he deserve you?
NEXT: Dana’s back, and she’s smoking on camera now.