Mauricio’s party was officially a bust. “I’m really, really pissed,” hissed Adrienne on her way out the door, after accusing her nemesis of being a crock pot crazy druggie. “And not only that…you watch.” Watch as Brandi files a countersuit? Taylor was so shaken by Paul’s outburst that she couldn’t stop her Tiffany-blue nails from trembling. (“This is not about you Taylor,” her good friend Kyle snapped in private. “Moving on.”) Kim may have made a bad judgment call spilling the beans to her buddies at the party but she did a good job holding her ground. And she was coherent enough to recognize that it was Kyle who instigated this whole mess in the first place by drawing Brandi out at SUR to spill on her beef with Adrienne. So as Kyle whined that this was neither the time nor the place Kim looked at her with a mixture of boredom and disdain. “Heard you. Five times. Done that. Blah!” Cut to Kyle carefully insisting that she is “extremely happy that my sister is sober” but that she still wants to be able to ride the high horse no matter what the situation. “Well it was wrong to do that here,” she tried insisting one more time to Kim’s retreating back. “Well that’s your feeling,” said Kim. “There! Done!” Kim’s therapist would be so proud.
Meanwhile Taylor got that scary gleam in her eye which meant she was about to go passive aggressive on a Housewife’s ass. Isn’t it interesting, she wondered aloud, how these women love hauling out skeletons from other people’s closets. Perhaps it’s only she who would never ever do something like that. (Unsettling flashback to the tea party where she tried to disembowel Lisa.) Kyle and Camille looked at her as if she was a rash. Well she’s just saying that there are “plenty of things in people’s private lives that should not be talked about.” Camille groaned but didn’t take the bait. In her private interview though Camille succinctly pointed out that Brandi had outed a family issue that Adrienne always held private, whereas Taylor apparently liked to blab to anyone who would listen about her marital nightmare. “Big difference,” she said. “Huge!” Cut to Camille finishing her Rodeo Drive shopping spree and then telling Richard Gere back in the hotel bathtub about Kelsey Grammar’s small wee wee.
The one charming moment of the night, per usual, happened at Villa Rosa. Ken was recuperating nicely from his hip surgery, enough so that he was able to spend the day goosing his wife. Lisa, wearing her ill-fitting yet somehow still adorable boyfriend jeans, was busy in the driveway tending to the new gates. “Forget about the gates,” Ken sighed into her cellphone. “What about the tea? You’re not going to make me some tea? Darling? Have we got any biscuits left? When I was in the hospital somebody has eaten all of my biscuits.” One question: Where was Giggy during all of this? Shouldn’t he have been curled into the nook of Ken’s arm wearing matching convalescent wear?
I love that Kim’s involvement this season mainly involves scenes of relaxation treatments and betterment. No unnecessary tension for her! She’s a completely different woman than we’ve seen the last two seasons and hats off to her. Once she got herself out of Mauricio’s eventful event the only other time we saw her again was on the reformer at Pilates Plus! with her two beautiful daughters. She was getting ready to take her son to Las Vegas for his 21st birthday, apparently a Richards tradition, and was trying to set herself up to succeed. That meant lots of facials and salt rubs and in-room AA meetings. And not inviting her trigger Kyle to come along.
NEXT: Who really is the pit bull here?