”The Real World”: The annual vacation mess
Welcome to Thailand: the country of robust cuisine, elephant rides, fire walks, and — wait for it — urination. Ah yes, it wouldn’t be a Real World vacation if something absolutely ridiculous didn’t happen, so a big thank-you goes out to super-hypochondriac Brooke for providing us with this special moment. That’s right, folks: Brooke asked the roommates to pee on her foot after she was supposedly stung by a jellyfish while she was strolling in the ocean. So what if the Southern belle learned this home remedy in an episode of Friends? If it can happen to Monica, it can happen to you, too!
One might think these kids would be too shy to pee on someone’s foot while a cameraman was crammed into the bathroom zooming in on them, but no, no. As Davis said, ”Everyone wants to step up and have a chance to pee on Brooke. Alex more than anyone.” (I can’t believe I’m sitting here actually writing an entire paragraph on this subject. Last week it was Colie and her ”special skill”; this week, it’s urinating on another person. This TV Watch has definitely broadened my horizons.)
Perhaps by peeing on Brooke, Alex was relieving (get it?) his tension toward Colie. When Colie dived into the pool sans bikini top, Alex said to the camera, ”Everything about Colie, I just — I’d rather she’d cover up. I can’t take it anymore.” I agree with him on the topless thing (this isn’t the Playboy Mansion, and you are on national TV), but I also think Alex should take his own advice on covering up. I mean, what was with that hideous Speedo/banana-hammock thing he was wearing?
Colie must’ve been appalled by Alex’s hot pants, too, because she didn’t once attempt to throw herself at him while they were drunk. In fact, she found a new love interest in Thailand: an Aussie dude named Jared, whom she slept with faster than you could say in your most slurred voice, ”You just got here, so you don’t know who the sluttiest guy is.” Jenn and Brooke were forced to wait outside their hotel room until Colie finished moaning. ”I feel like I’m back in high school, seriously,” said Brooke. And now I’m just wondering where exactly did Brooke go to high school. God knows I wasn’t spending my high school nights outside of hotel rooms waiting as my friend had sex with a random guy. (There’s that broadening-my-horizons thing again.)
Colie’s sloppy-drunk behavior may have peaked in Thailand — specifically when she slipped on wet rocks and cut her toe while standing near a waterfall. Of course, the roommates all laughed at her when it happened (so did I), and then she got pissed off when Brooke got all the attention after she took a nasty fall and hit her tailbone. (Was that blood I saw on Brooke’s bathing suit, or was I hallucinating?) As much as I can’t stand Brooke’s whining, I did sympathize with her, because for once she really seemed to be in pain. Colie’s sarcastic comment about Brooke’s accident was just immature and rude: ”Brooke’s tailbone’s slightly hurt, so let’s give all the attention to her.”
It was uncharacteristically insightful and smart of Brooke to attribute Colie’s loose actions with boys to insecurity: ”She doesn’t need ass, she needs reassurance that she’s an okay person, and she’s finding it by sex.” I definitely agree and wish Brooke would be able to look at her own life in the same mature manner. Jenn also tried to voice her opinion about Colie to the camera: ”I think she makes decisions that she doesn’t think through,” but I just sort of laughed when she said that, because really? Really Jenn? Do you think you’ve been some sort of saint while in Denver? Because you most certainly haven’t. From the looks of the previews for the next (and final!) episode, Jenn’s going to hook up with Stephen, of all people. I’m interested to see how it will pan out because he claims to be the most religious and moral guy in the house.
All right, it’s your turn: What did you think of the vacation? Was Alex being too hard on Colie? Was it weird and sort of creepy to see Jenn and Stephen flirting? Was it necessary to show Brooke puking on the boat? And finally, will we soon be reading in the tabloids that Colie’s entered rehab?