Lindsay Soll
May 03, 2007 AT 04:00 AM EDT

”The Real World”: Colie’s dating game

At the beginning of this episode, Colie was getting over being sick — again — this time with strep throat. But as soon as the antibiotics kicked in, she was ready for some male action.

First up, we had bachelor No. 1, Adam: You might remember him as the ratty-haired, granola-y Outward Bound counselor who first kept Colie company when she got sick during training. It was love at first mountain climb for Adam, and he eventually quit his job at Outward Bound for the New Jersey gal (or so we were supposed to think). But he soon had misgivings over her ”un-boyfriend” back home, Corey, and we haven’t heard much from Adam since. Until now. Colie claimed they’d talked on the phone a couple of times and had seen each other ”like once every two weeks — maybe,” so her constant gum chomping and giddy smile when she saw him obviously had deep meaning. Unfortunately, Adam and Colie weren’t ”vibing” the way she was hoping they would (i.e., he wouldn’t sleep over), so in desperation she turned to…

Bachelor No. 2, Alex: Even though Colie said, ”Alex and I aren’t going to hook up again,” at the beginning of the episode (golly gee, I think I’ve heard that before!), the minute McDrunky walked through the door, she pounced — literally pounced — on him. Next thing we know, the two hornballs were rolling around in bed, and she was telling him, ”I’m a very talented girl. There’s a lot of things you don’t know about.” Hmmm, okay, then why don’t you enlighten us, Colie? Oh, right, you’re a big fan of our 42nd president’s legal theories: ”For President Bill Clinton, oral sex is not sex,” Colie told the camera, ”and I take all of my sexual advice from Bill Clinton.” Thanks for sharing, Colie. Alex didn’t wait long to start blabbing to Davis the next morning that Colie gave him you-know-what. For her part, Colie explained to Brooke that she couldn’t help herself because she’s afraid of sleeping alone. (In fact, she said, she went to therapy when she was younger for this so-called phobia.) Brooke’s facial expressions throughout Colie’s long talk about her childhood were priceless — she kept nodding and trying to look interested, but we all know she was really thinking, ”You dirty slut.” Luckily, Colie was able to put Alex behind her when she ran into…

Bachelor No. 3, Justin: According to Colie, ”He’s a male model from Denver and, hands down, one of the hottest guys I’ve ever seen.” She wasted no time informing the hottie of her talents: ”If you’re good at something, you know it. I’m good at blow j—.” (Thank you, MTV, for partially bleeping out that second word; we’re sure the 10-year-olds who were watching the ”afternoon sneak peek” of the episode had no idea what Colie said.) Of course, the two hooked up, and Colie now thinks their relationship is much more than a physical one. Guess we’ll see about that.

In between dating-game scenes, Davis’s mom and sister came to visit — but not without a dramatic buildup. First, we got to hear snippets of an e-mail the mom had written Davis about being Christian and gay. Then we saw a random montage of pictures of Davis and his mom as he was growing up while sappy music played in the background. (Um, did I accidentally put on 7th Heaven? My bad.) When the family finally arrived in Denver, it was a tad anticlimactic. She bought him a digital camera for his birthday, and then he made her mad by sleeping through their breakfast date the next morning. (He had celebrated his birthday that night by getting drunk and kissing a lot of girls.) Nothing seems to have been resolved by Mama Davis’s visit, so what exactly was the point of it?

Thank God we get a change of scenery next week as the roommates head to Thailand — not to be confused with Taiwan — for vacation. What do you guys think is going to happen over there? Will Colie and Alex hook up again? Will Jenn and Alex hook up again? Will anyone get arrested? Finally, what are your thoughts as to how (or whether) this season is going to end?

You May Like