”Real World”: Follow the babbling Brooke
I think something might be wrong with me. Maybe I’ve eaten too many leftovers. Maybe I’ve been on vacation too long. Or maybe I’ve just watched one too many CSI repeats. Whatever it may be, for some odd reason I actually found myself amused (rather than appalled) at this utterly absurd episode of The Real World: Denver.
First, we have Colie and her mono. Okay, so I don’t find the virus particularly funny, but let’s face it: We saw Colie proudly display her love of swapping spit her very first week in the house, and as irony may have it, she contracted ”the kissing disease” in return [insert RW producers shuddering at their attempts to make this season one big orgy here]. I am a little upset that last week’s previews made us think Colie’s condition was going to be somewhat more serious — it seemed like she was rushed to the emergency room in an ambulance, but now we see she was driven to the hospital by her sorority sister’s mother in an SUV!
It was cute of Alex to call Colie’s mom to ask her what he could do to help her get through the mono. I’m glad she didn’t take the Sick Couch as anything more than a nice gesture, though. I am so over Alex being perceived as the house ”hottie” (there’s always one: Colin, Ace, Brad, etc.). And then there was Brooke, who might’ve offered up an ounce of sympathy toward her sick roommate, but had her own issues.
Which leads us to the best part of the episode: Brooke vs. the nail salon. First of all, did anyone else wonder if her comment, ”I don’t want to have to go through all of this crap, I just want to get my nails done,” was edited out of context? It seemed like she might have meant it to refer to her frustrations about not finding the nail place, which makes it funny. But if she meant ”this crap” toward Colie’s mono, then it was selfish of her to say. (Hmmm… Okay, it is Brooke we’re talking about here, so maybe it wasn’t out of context.) Second of all, is there only one nail salon in all of Denver? Or does that specific one use nail polish made out of real gold or something? You would’ve thought so seeing the way Brooke reacted when she couldn’t find it. Silly Brooke, that’s what cell phones are for — next time try using one to call the salon and ask for directions.
The great nail salon debacle of 2006 continued when the Southern Belle mistakenly used the G-word. For once, Tyrie wasn’t trying to pick a fight when he asked her, ”How come every negative place you go to gotta be ‘the ghetto’?” He was joking (newsflash: he only picks real fights when he’s drunk), and she took it completely the wrong way. I laughed out loud when Ty looked at Colie after Brooke stormed off and said, ”Okay, no matter what, I am not taking the blame for that one,” because he definitely has become the go-to guy when you’re looking for someone to be mad at.
Brooke was 100 percent right when she claimed, ”I’m an indulgent, spoiled girly girl. I like to get my nails done, I like good food, I like makeup. You know, that’s just how I am.” (Perhaps a line she used during auditions to make herself stand out?) For her to go off and say, ”this is hell,” is ludicrous. If hell is a posh, furnished house in a cool city and no work for 18 weeks, then sign me up! I loved this exchange between Brooke and her mom:
Brooke: This is not worth the fact that I’m having to pay my rent — $700 a month! — in California while I’m living here.
Mom: What are you talking about? You don’t pay $700 a month, you pay $438.
Brooke: No mom, utilities!
Mom: Well, I’m paying that.
Brooke: Whatever. Can you throw me a bone here?
Um, we’d throw you a bone if we thought you deserved one. I’d say $438 is not a bad fee for the chance to live in the lap of luxury. (Hey, I live in New York City, where $438 would get me a nice broom closet.)
And so with Brooke’s meltdown over her nails and her life, we have come to the end of another chapter in the RW. That brings the tally up to six roommates who have acted like a complete a– and then blamed it on a long-running problem he or she needs to face up to. Stephen’s the only one we’ve yet to witness go stir crazy. I see a fight about religion and homosexuality in his future.
What do you guys think? Will Brooke use MapQuest next time she walks around Denver? Was she right to be mad at Tyrie? Should he have even cracked a joke knowing she was upset? Will Colie’s mono be gone in time for her to begin training for Outward Bound? Will anyone else get mono? Finally, when will we see Stephen get really angry?