After a dramatic season premiere—mostly thanks to plague—followed by a solid second episode through which a number of stories were established, Reign’s third hour brought everything together seamlessly. Plus, there was famine and a coronation ceremony, two things that all of Reign’s best episodes have: life-and-death drama and a party. And when you add in the appearance of Caroline-Henry, not to mention the hot hot Frary sex, there’s nothing to complain about. Well, except for Narcisse’s leather pants. Surely those things are meant to be tighter, right?
We kick things off with Mary and Francis getting the rundown on their many coronation events. Apparently, Catherine is an event planner on the side, and she’s one who finds dancing elephants to be a bit much. But golden-horned unicorns? Totally classy and understated. (P.S. I was really bummed we never saw this unicorn.) However, the new king and queen don’t have much to celebrate at the moment, what with leaders from 50 countries coming to their castle in a time when famine and debt top their to-do list. And let’s not forget no. 3 on Mary’s to-do list: know her place. In other words, killing Edward has forced her to take a step back until after the coronation and after Narcisse delivers the grain he claims should be there “soon.” For now, she can focus all of her attention on walking through grass in heels.
Also walking through grass in heels are Kenna and Lola, who meet a group of noble wives after word spreads that Francis has publicly claimed his child. The noble wives—who are the newpsies of the 16th century and deserve their own Real Housewives-esque reality show—go on and on about the new château that Lola and her son are getting while Kenna seethes in the background. Apparently, Kenna and Bash’s home was destroyed in the plague fires, and being the king’s deputy doesn’t secure Bash land when there’s none to give.
However, his new title does mean that people will turn to him for help. And when a lady comes to Bash swearing that Lord Barnard murdered her husband, Bash starts digging. Only, he doesn’t have to dig too much before Lady Barnard tries to bribe Lola with land. The lesson? Lord Barnard is a murderer, and Bash and Kenna need to watch their backs around nobles now that he is so close to the king. (It’s not like he’s always been his brother or anything…)
As for Lola, she’s less concerned with her new château and more hung up on the fact that Francis fired Caroline, her favorite Nanny. Francis attempts to explain himself, but it’s difficult for him to say, “I murdered my super sexy father and now he’s inhabited the body of a rather large-breasted woman and it makes me uncomfortable to be around her.” So instead, he’s all, “She reminded me of someone.” But what Lola doesn’t know is that Francis tracks Caroline down and takes her to a medium of sorts where Henry’s eyebrow makes its second appearance.
Caroline-Henry knows that it wasn’t Lord Montgomery who killed him, and he mentions how Francis started to look at him differently before his death. He claims his son was plotting against him. But most intriguing of all is his claim that something seems to be holding him here. So now the question is, is it holding him in Caroline’s body or could we see Alan Van Sprang again? My guess? Someone just needs to fix that bad carving job on Henry’s tomb before he can fully come back. Let’s give that thing some cheekbones STAT!
NEXT: I now crown you king and queen