The bitch is back, Ringer viewers! Yes, I mean me…and not Gemma who also returned this week. So I had a little DVR meltdown last week and couldn’t recap but I apologize. Frankly, I think it was all conspiracy hatched by Siobhan in Paris. Clearly, she though someone was getting a little too snarky about a certain CW show. Well ha ha Siobhan! I unplugged my DVR and then replugged it back in. I’m too smart for you!
Bridget and Andrew are getting along grandly. In fact, he wants to take her on a vacation. Bridget, showing her white trash roots, suggested Ft. Lauderdale. Oh Bridge, you’re showing your stripper roots. Then Andrew suggested Turks & Caicos, which she had never heard of. Clearly, Bridget never watched Wild on E! or Taradise.
So Bridget decides she needs to get rid of that cop gun that she’s been hiding in her closet for like 9 episodes. This girl spends more time in the closet than Carrie Bradshaw. After finding the gun, she calls cute NA sponsor Charlie to discuss how to get rid of a firearm. Charlie answers via a Bluetooth which I gotta say drops down his sexy factor by like 50%. Also, not sexy? Keeping abrasive redheads in your basement. Yep, Charlie is holding Gemma hostage in his cellar. And he’s feeding her bologna! It’s like Silence of the Lambs but with deli meat. Poor Gemma. She’s gonna be one of the few people who emerge from captivity and actually GAIN weight. We also learn via flashback that the agent who originally told Machado that Bridget knocked him out and stole his gun actually let her go. He also snuck his gun into Bridget’s bag. Interesting development!
Meanwhile, Bridget decides that she’s not gonna leave town until she figures out exactly who’s after Siobhan. After some apartment searching (weirdly she didn’t look behind the GINORMOUS PHOTO OF SIOBHAN), she finds a prescription for some kind of medication and the name of a doctor. Naturally, Bridget makes an appointment with the doctor. Now, this entire sequence I found awkwardly scripted and played. It just felt so
unbelievable because Bridget was clearly fishing for answers. And then when she announced that she loved Andrew? Um no. That did not feel authentic. But basically Bridget found out that she had accomplished all of Siobhan’s goals, like mend things with Andrew and Juliet.
Malcolm began noticing suspicious things in Charlie’s apartment like the fact that the sober dude was using alcohol-based mouthwash. Oh and dude also has no clothes or underwear. No discussion that he may just go commando. So Malcolm calls Bridget with his concerns over the fact that Charlie might not be the cute NA sponsor he claims to be.
Bridge is busy, though, plotting to sneak her way back into the shrink’s office, which she does by faking a bathroom attack. Before the doctor caught her, Bridget managed to snag some notes from Siobhan’s previous visit. Turns out Little Miss Paris was paranoid that she was being followed and was put on anti-depressants. She also said something about finding comfort in a church.
Charlie once again reaches out to Siobhan in Paris and tells her that he got a hold of Bridget’s cop gun. Apparently, Charlie actually hired that cop to make Bridget run and plant the gun in her bag. Why would he do that? I’m so confused by their endgame but I’m definitely interested in the reveal.
NEXT: Bridget goes to church…but it’s a bar! A ChurchBar!