Monty Brinton/CBS
Justin Kirkland
March 29, 2016 AT 03:12 AM EDT

Okay, guys. We come here every week, knowing that Scorpion is ridiculous, but this week was absolutely, certifiably, genius-level bonkers. And honestly, it’s bonkers from moment go. Linda’s back. You remember Linda — she’s our resident bomb girl who loves talking smack to her mom about Walter. And then, after last week, Shadow Cabe is still hanging out. Ralph seems to be around more, and then there’s the whole Scorpion working-crew. This is practically becoming a Shonda Rhimes ensemble cast.

The Backstory

But what’s important (at least to Toby and Sylvester) is Armstrong’s video game prowess. He even happens to beat Walter’s high score. Walter is not impressed at all because his intellect far surpasses Shadow Cabe’s, but Shadow Cabe has those forearms, so yeah. Draw, I guess. But then we go back to Linda who has come back by the warehouse to set up a second date (?!) with Walter. Paige is equally unimpressed because, sure, Linda had a bomb strapped to her but Paige has almost turned near-death experiences with Team Scorpion into sport. But no one could be more unimpressed than Ralph who just finished his college project that transferred all the data in the Library of Congress to another location in 5.9 seconds. We’ll never be worthy of Ralph, y’all.

The Mission

Even a Ralph-level collegiate project isn’t enough to carry an episode alone, which is where John Pandova come in. He swings by because he’s working on locating and rescuing the remains of fallen Marines across the world. He’s with Scorpion, specifically, because they’ve found Marine remains in Vietnam, and they have connected it to 10 Marines who went MIA back in the ’70s. Unfortunately, they won’t allow John and his team to go in for retrieval without more proof. Double unfortunately, a factory is about to go up over the potential site meaning the remains would be lost forever. The team presses him because even if it’s a task worth taking, it’s not Scorpion-level intense. That’s when John reveals that this is mostly about his dad and finally being able to bring him home for his mom and because we’re all about the feels this season, they take the case on. The mission’s importance is, unsurprisingly, lost on Walter.

The Execution

The team jumps into action and starts their work on the plane, but as Team Scorpion rolls into Vietnam, it’s clear that there’s a storm brewing. The team is shocked to find out when they get to Vietnam that the land is already being excavated. Shadow Cabe steps in with a startlingly impressive grasp of the Vietnamese language. He stops the crew from doing any more damage to the site, but the real struggle at hand is the category 2 CATEGORY 3 storm that is not only causing a total mess of their paperwork but also trimming their timeline down from two days to two hours.

Among the items that got picked up and tossed around was a chip that the team needs to be able to conduct the mission and see underground (you read that correctly). Shadow Cabe, Walter, and Paige run to a hospital to try and get a replacement chip — naturally, as one would expect in a Category 3 Vietnamese storm, the hospital is burning down because of an electrical fire. Shadow Cabe and Walter are able to get the chip from inside, but the hospital isn’t able to evacuate their members because of the storm and Paige refuses to leave them. Back at camp, Happy and Toby are working to get the device together, but they can’t do anything without the chip.

And even as absurd as this episode is, and make no mistake… it’s more absurd than usual, Paige gives me one of my favorite Scorpion moments to date. The trio is able to get the nursing home patients to a bunker, but it’s locked. Walter insists that he can open it with thermometers. Shadow Cabe asks how Walter is going to open a locked hatch with thermometers alone and Paige just says that she usually doesn’t even try to ask and that Walter always explains himself later. OH PAIGE. And then there’s an even bigger moment, when one of the Vietnamese men from the hospital keeps asking Pandova about his father. Apparently, he recognized his face because you never forget the face of a man you killed (!?!). WHAT? That’s right — the man responsible for killing John’s father is currently being helped into a safety bunker. They immediately forgive because that’s what life is about: forgiveness. This episode is out of control.

Anyway, the group gets back to the camp and is able to insert the chip in the machine and see underground. In a classic turn of events, the first thing they see are some dog tags with the letters “OVA,” as in “Pandova.” John gets the closure he’s looking for, and it appears that the excavating is going to stop. But the team doesn’t have long to celebrate. Why? Oh, because that category three storm has turned into a concentrated super cell storm. Also there’s a tornado. Also this is like a Forrest Gump/Twister hybrid. Also Karen Cartwright loves Jason Street.

In short, everything is out of control this episode.


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