Oh, Scorpion. You’ve tried to sell me on a lot of farfetched plotlines, but the hardest one to swallow so far is that Walter and Linda are dating and kissing in public and having a good time.
That’s where we are tonight — on their date, waiting on a giant flower to bloom while Paige is off doing GOD KNOWS WHAT with Shadow Cabe. But after their date, Walter is giving Toby the rundown about the date, and Toby drops a truth bomb and tells Walter that Linda’s not actually into him. He argues that Walter is just trying to compensate for not dating Paige, and Linda is just trying to drum up the same feeling she got when Walter saved her life. Little harsh, Toby.
But the bigger issue tonight is that we’re in court. If you remember, Ralph is taking his college professor to court for stealing the same project he failed Ralph for. Haywood (Horatio Sanz) steps in for Ralph but seems to be crashing pretty hard. Right as the judge nearly rules in Ralph’s professor’s favor, Haywood buys time for Ralph to go through his professor’s backup files so that he can prove that his professor actually did rip him off. In trying to help, Walter snapped on Ralph and Paige snapped on Walter and I snapped in the air because I have weird reactions to dramatic situations.
This week’s mission takes us to Fort Knox, and in a turn of events, Scorpion isn’t being asked to stop a hacker or a thief. A man named Agent Cook is asking Scorpion to be the thief. To prove that the chain of command protecting Fort Knox is unstable, Team Scorpion has been asked to break in and steal a Prussian scepter (because no gift this holiday season will be hotter than a Prussian scepter). The only issue is that the mission is off the books, meaning they will be breaking in as actual thieves, and if caught, they’ll be punished as such. But if they pull it off, they get (insert Dr. Evil accent) $1 million.
Scorpion decides they’re going to send a submarine through the water system, which will help to flood the base. They’ll call in a plumbing issue, but the call will be intercepted by Sly and Paige back at the warehouse. They’ll send in disguised military plumbers (Happy and Toby), which will allow them to release knockout gas to make all the soldiers pass out while Cabe and Shadow Cabe distract the man who is overseeing Fort Knox in a different part of the base. In the 30 minutes that the guards are passed out, Toby, Happy, and Walter will steal the scepter. The only issue is, like most Scorpion plans, there’s always a thing or two that goes unaccounted for — you know, like an armed guard that holds the trio at gunpoint.
Of course, the trio doesn’t figure that out until it’s too late. Walter turns off the lights, and they blind the guard with flashlights. Walter and Toby seize the opportunity and tackle him, removing his mask, causing him to pass out with the rest of the group. Happy is left to crack the safe, but the artillery testing on base is interfering with Happy’s ability to get the combination. To stop the testing, Cabe and Armstrong drive through the range, causing the soldiers to stop shooting off their test bombs. Of course, that also means they come running at them with guns because that seems to be a theme this episode. It allows Happy to break in and make their way closer to the scepter.
Once Happy makes it to the scepter, she has to remove it from a pressure plate. I’m not going to try and mess with you guys and attempt to explain how that works, but I can tell you that apparently that scepter weighs about the same as Happy’s toolbox. If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times, I’m just a Paige, recapping a Ralph type of show. Anyway, as they steal the scepter, it seems that an additional trap gets set off that releases enough water into the scepter room to fill it and kill Happy, Walter, and Toby. They manage to find a sword and pry the steel door open, but Happy immediately notices the scepter’s weight isn’t what she estimated it to be. She opens it up to find a vial, but before she can identify what it is, the team is attacked by a group of armed soldiers.
NEXT: What cell service does Walt have? Definitely not AT&T