Price Peterson
July 06, 2016 AT 06:32 PM EDT

This will probably not come as a shock to you, but meeting up with someone in the middle of the night at an abandoned carnival is not a great idea. To Noah’s credit, he realized this about 10 minutes after exploring the dark carnival by himself with a flashlight and he suddenly ran back to his car. Alas, the killer was waiting in the car for him!

When he woke up from his chloroform sleep (which honestly sounds so restful) he realized he was tied to a bumper car and Audrey was tied to the one behind him!

But what was going on? Had we accidentally fallen asleep during the part where SHE got kidnapped as well? No we hadn’t, because as it turned out, this whole thing was a scam that Audrey had dreamed up in order to figure out why Noah had been acting so weird. She had followed Noah to an abandoned carnival and had chloroformed him and then tied him to a bumper car to get ANSWERS. A classic, flawless plan. Unfortunately Emma showed up wondering where everybody was, and Audrey had to admit what she’d done. But there was no time for everyone to stand and glare at her for being insane…

Because the REAL killer had arrived!

Kieran also arrived, because why not? So now all four of them were running the H*CK out of there. Everyone was fine.

It was time for Audrey to come clean, so she finally did. Sorta. According to her explanation to Noah, Audrey had once started a letter writing campaign in order to lure Piper to town, so that Piper could, uh, help with Audrey’s documentary? Obviously the shadiest part was the handwritten angle letter. Also, if Audrey had zero involvement in Piper’s crimes, then why didn’t she come forward with that intel ASAP? Noah kinda forgave Audrey on the spot, but do you know who didn’t?

GARAGEBAND. Reader, he taped her confession.  

Mr. Branson was still handcuffed to a bed, which meant that the killer now had full access to his tenderest bodily regions. First order of business? SAWING HIS HAND OFF.

Part two? Cauterizing his stump with an iron!

It’s notable to point out that Mr. Branson did not die from this act, and in fact the cauterization actively prevented him from bleeding out. Which means we can and should expect at least four more episodes of his torture and prolonged death. Sure beats having to kill anyone else off.

“Jeepers Creepers” certainly did provide more thrills, chills, and spills than last week’s dreadfully boring episode. A literal un-handing tends to spice up any occasion, and at least the iconography of a carnival at night brought more tension and atmosphere than usual. Insisting that Scream should be an extremely drawn-out whodunnit remains one of the great TV blunders of all time, so at this point it’s gotta come down to the characters. I still like Brooke and Audrey, so that’s something! And I think I’m starting to like Stavo? If this became the Brooke and Stavo hour, I would not be mad. Let’s hope we get more of them (and more horrifying moments) during the final four hours and less of pretty much everything else. 

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