Dalton Ross
February 27, 2015 AT 10:28 PM EST

Okay, so we all know I was gone last week because I am always gone during the craziest episode of every Survivor season — from the revelation of the Outcasts on Pearl Islands (I actually watched that episode with Mark Burnett while on location for Survivor: All-Stars) to the triple immunity that got rid of Phillip on Caramoan (watched on my laptop not long after having my personal space violated by a Benedict Arnold impersonator while vacationing with the family in Colonial Williamsburg) to last week’s tiebreaking bonanza (not watched until a few days later due to my work trip to Toronto, because they won’t let you watch CBS shows online north of the border). Everybody’s been asking me for my thoughts on what went down, but you and I both know if I get too deep into that we are going to be here all damn day. Especially because we not only have this week’s episode to get to, but my updated — and always controversial — season-by-season rankings as well.

But there is one thing I do want to comment on regarding last week. No, it has nothing to do with Tyson’s crotch idol. Nor does it have to do with my good friend Russell Feathers. The thing that keeps going through my mind after watching last week is…what’s up with Survivor’s dissing of the color purple? And I’m not talking about Whoopi Goldberg/Oprah Winfrey movies. I’m talking about the actual color purple. We’ve been waiting 23 seasons for the purple rock to make its long awaited return ever since poor Paschal pulled the sucker back in Marqueses. And when it finally does…it’s no longer purple! It’s white!

Look, Survivor, I never meant to cause you any sorrow and I never meant to cause you any pain, but I am going to start crying tears of purple rain like my man Prince Rogers Nelson due to this gross injustice. Maybe it is because I fear change. Perhaps it is because I named my daughter Violet. Or par chance it could be because white is the lamest color of all colors. And that comes straight from a white dude! All I know is that this is a travesty of the highest order. (And yes, I asked Jeff Probst about the color change in this week’s Q&A, so you’ll have to go there to check out his answer.)

Okay, like I said, we have our updated season-by-season rankings to get to (where will Blood vs. Water fall?) so let’s get to it and recap this bad boy from the very top. A victim of the dreaded white (ne purple) rock, Katie makes her way to Redemption Island where she is reunited with her mother. “I would not be opposed to letting you win,” says mama Wesson of the impending truel. “I think we should both try our hardest,” counters Katie. Oh, boy. This is going to be a tough one because with duel dominator Laura Morett, it is pretty clear that either mother or daughter is going home.

Considering how spicy things got at the last Tribal Council, it’s somewhat surprising to see the big love-in going on once everybody gets back to camp Kasama. “That was a great play,” says Tyson. “I was excited to be a part of it. I don’t think Katie was excited to be a part of it.” Even as Hayden literally draws a line in the sand and Monica attempts to pull Ciera back over that line to her side, it is all done with smiles and chuckles. While everyone at this point is playing all out with everything they have, nobody is making the mistake of taking it personally. Which on one hand is refreshing to see. But on the other hand, if I’m being completely honest here, it’s also kind of upsetting in a way because it sure is fun to watch people yell at each other and point fingers and stuff.

NEXT: A mother-daughter duel

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