Here is a list of things that are more satisfying than the end of the latest episode of Survivor:
- Mint chocolate chip ice cream
- A cat curling up in your lap and purring up a storm
- Deleting a season pass for a show you no longer watch yet keeps appearing on your DVR to taunt you and make you feel bad for not watching
- Blocking a telemarketer’s number on your phone
- Watching Joe last more than 10 seconds in any challenge
- When Prince starts wailing his lungs out at the end of “The Beautiful Ones”
- Any time Tony Romo throws a backbreaking interception in the last two minutes of a game
- A good in-flight entertainment system stocked with a bazillion movies (including any and all films with the word “Leprechaun” in the title)
- Nikki and Paulo dying on Lost
- Finding money on the ground when there is absolutely nobody around so you don’t even need to feel guilty for not making a cursory attempt to return it
- The “Grilled” episode from season 2 of Breaking Bad
- The birth of your children…I guess
- When Jeff Probst wears his orange baseball cap
Honestly, I think that’s about it. Because that’s how satisfying it was watching the combination of shock and confusion on Scot’s face at Tribal Council as he sat there after receiving four votes waiting for Tai to hand over his immunity idol to combine with the other one Jason had already given him to create the mythical Super Idol.
Only Tai never did hand it over. Scot looked over at Tai. And kept looking. And kept looking. He tried raising his eyebrows. He tried looking down at Tai’s pocket as if to give him visual directions as to what to do. None of it worked. “You’re not doing it?” asked Scot.
“No, sorry,” came the reply.
“Wow.” Wow, indeed. This would have made great television no matter who the victim was. Watching one person renege on a pre-existing safety-net plan to save someone that thought he was 100 percent safe and then watching that terrible realization slowly cross the face of the screwed party is simply delicious. It’s like that moment on The Simpsons where Bart puts the Krusty the Clown anniversary special in slow-motion so he can see the exact moment when Lisa breaks poor Ralph Wiggum’s heart. (Sorry, she does not choo-choo-choose you, Ralph.)
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So this was going to be a great moment no matter who the players involved were. But the fact that Scot was on the receiving end of the dis and dismissal made it extra sweet. Scot’s no dummy. He knows he was playing the part of villain this season. It’s something he seemed to relish doing any time he played professional basketball in an opposing arena, so he was comfortable enough in the role. And when he hid the tribe’s tools and used the tribe water to douse the tribe fire, he full-on embraced that role on the island. So the same way a crowd would cheer wildly when the guy they hated the most on the opposing team would foul out of a game, he most likely gets why Survivor nation is downright giddy about what transpired here.
Throw in every cocky mention by him and Jason all episode about how absolutely safe they were and how everybody else better get in line and do exactly what they were being told to do or else, and you have the makings of a glorious Survivor moment for the ages that had fans high-fiving from coast to coast. A full-on Survivor celebration, ladies and gentlemen! It’s like all those dorks on Coruscant toppling over the Emperor Palpatine statue at the end of the rejiggered version of Return of The Jedi while the rest of the universe mourned the unfortunate loss of “Yub Nub.”
The other amazing thing about Scot’s Super Idol-less ouster? He walked out with Jason’s hidden immunity idol in his pocket. Jason could have protected against that by only giving his to Scot after Tai did, but instead he handed it to Scot before Tribal Council, so once Scot was voted out, he could not give it back because he was already officially out of the game. So now it’s gone. Buh-bye. Sayonara. WHOOPS!
NEXT: Why the move was a no-brainer for Tai