Monty Brinton
Dalton Ross
February 28, 2015 AT 03:27 AM EST

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Now THAT’S what I’m talking about! Finally, a slam dunk of an episode. I’m going to try to get through this recap a little quicker than usual so we can fit in my traditional Survivor seasonal rankings, but don’t let the shorter length fool you. I could write about this episode for days. It had it all: blindsides, double-crosses, shifting allegiances, Mohawks, and some of the most inept challenge play ever. It’s exactly what this mostly dull season full of mostly unengaging contestants needed.

The episode started off the same way every Survivor: Gabon episode has started off: with Kenny telling us how unbelievably awesome he is. “I have been calling the shots from day 1 out here. I am the mastermind behind everything going on.” Jeez, Kenny, why do you continually insist on sabotaging your own likeability? You’ve played a good game, and we all respect that, but stop telling us what a good game you are playing! It makes us want to smash the King of Smash with out fists. (Don’t worry, my man, your humble pie will be served up in about 53 minutes at tribal council.)

But if Kenny was being annoying, Bob was being just plain dumb. First he admitted to Ken that Corinne didn’t play the idol because it was a fake. (Why, Bob, why? No reason to tell him that. Just say she thought she was safe.) And then he one-upped his own stupidity by offering to hand over immunity should he win it at the next challenge. Bob is the most schizophrenic strategist I have ever seen in my life. I’ve never seen one player make so many good and bad moves, not just in the same season — but in the same damn episode! This one was especially egregious, because now if you give immunity away you’re a moron (hi there, ice-cream scooping Erik!). And if you don’t, people will call you a liar, and you could be automatically throwing away a potential jury vote for no reason whatsoever, just like you did to Randy. Ughhhhh.

NEXT: Alley ooops

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