Jodi Walker
March 11, 2015 AT 05:19 PM EDT

Will the Hale vault ever cease to amaze? First, $117 million in bearer bonds, and now tea; this is either the vault of one super complex family, or one super old woman. But don’t let your guard down around old women, either… Alpha Satomi will put you on your ass in 10 seconds flat, and that’s a lot faster than any Hale I’ve seen.

Tonight’s episode was half horror film, half infection outbreak propaganda (and of course, 100% still a TV show about teenage werewolves). And although it doesn’t seem like Scott’s pack is much closer to figuring out who the Benefactor is, it seems they’re at least beginning to understand who their enemies are. The answer is anyone with access to a cassette tape player, a camera phone, and a pretty loose moral compass. At one point, some random blonde just blazes out of the hospital elevator with a semi-automatic pistol, ready to take down a few seven-digit dead pool supernaturals. Excuse me, but I prefer my baddies with a little forethought; for example, the Chemist (James Urbaniak).

We’re now on our third fully-realized Benefactor assassin, and things are drifting further toward an episodic procedural then they have in a long time: a new bad guy every week, a new case, open and shut by Wolf Watch. Too much of that would be a bore, but with the overarching Benefactor story line, this season continues to move forward with a controlled chaos that will hopefully reveal the whole that these moving parts represent sooner rather than later. Each assassin has proven to have their own method of killing—the Mute with sheer strength, the Orphans with brazen stupidity, and the Chemist with mad science—but it’s the Benefactor’s way that’s most concerning: anonymously efficient.

“Weaponized’s” cold open is one for the tone-setting record books: One creepy scientist conducting experiments on black goo-spitting werewolves in a mountain ash laboratory. Two teenagers sitting cross-legged on the floor of their childhood bedroom with $500,000 of stolen/re-stolen blood money between them. A were-coyote girlfriend showing up at the door to tell them that a whole pack of werewolves is dead in the woods—poisoned—while another werewolf bursts into the hospital with a supernatural mercenary in his mostly-human-strength arms. And the local neighborhood emissary partaking in a brief Matrix-style fight with a triple-digits-age Alpha who is apparently immune to whatever poison just took out her pack.

Welcome to Teen Wolf, we’re only four minutes in!

It’s become clear in the past two episodes that though lacrosse has returned, love is in the air, and Teen Wolf: The New Class is now on board, it is officially time for the midseason turn toward the dark side. Play time is over; now it’s just avoiding murder, figuring out what the hell Peter is up to, and, most importantly, trying to focus on the PSATs. Or as Scott explained it, “Because, while we’re trying not to die, we still need to live.” But living might be a little easier if the guy from the werewolf murder lab wasn’t administering the PSAT, and Ms. Martin wasn’t finding Coach Finstock passed out two doors down from the testing room with lesions all over his back.

NEXT: “Hello? Center for Disease Control? Yes, hi, it’s the high school again… I’m afraid it’s another deadly outbreak!”

( 1 of 3 )

You May Like