”Terminator” recap: John’s family ties
Man, freedom fighters! Is it just me, or did tonight’s ep of Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles absolutely fly by? Let’s keep with that theme and make this short and sweet, because I’m still wiped from Grammy fever and wanna go to bed. Onward!
Here’s a way we could save time: Kill that dumb show intro. If you don’t understand the basic principle behind the Terminator franchise, why are you watching this? American Idol is on tomorrow, come back then; we’ve got plot holes to fill, dammit. Like, for example, ”Where were Sarah and John hangin’ out before she was committed to that one mental institution?” Why, Central America, it seems, where Mom spent a lot of time wandering around looking for the Predator, and John played patient, bold chess. This skill turns out to be handy, because back in the present day, darling young Andy Goode has rebuilt his possibly world-ending computer, the Turk (Terk?), after the house fire, and has entered it into a chess tourney. How did he do this so fast? Seems he rewrote the code from memory at a coffee shop in Van Nuys. (Get excited, Van Nuys! You end the world!) Also, for the record — tossing back to one of the questions I asked you guys on a previous TV Watch — it appears that Andy would totally sleep with a robot if given the chance. I say good for him. He has somehow managed to make what used to be a closet-size semi-sentient being into a toaster-size very sentient being with a slightly Peyton Manning-esque temperament in under a week. If I were a robot, I’d do him.
Speaking of people the robot me would totally hit on, Cute Cute Dean Winters, a.k.a. Charlie Dixon, Sarah’s ex-fiancé from back in the ’90s, was busy getting some action of a thoroughly more ominous variety. Our old pal Cromartie, now disguised as Victor Laszlo — wait, that’s not right — posed as an FBI agent to go ask him questions about the Connor family’s whereabouts. The Q&A session was awkward to begin with, but then when Charlie’s cell phone rang, Cromartie got extra jumpy. (Clearly, that cell phone was fighting on the side of good.) ”I never knew, and I do not know, Sarah Connor,” Charlie said to the awkward man, a line he reiterated to his wife, who is played by Penny, from Lost, and who I will be calling ”Penny” from now on, to minimize confusion. Penny, for the record, does not trust Charlie any farther than she could throw him. Which, as it turned out later in the ep, was probably the right call, as Charlie eventually admitted to having seen John inside the house! (Check on the babysitter!)
Back at the chess tourney, we learned all this stuff like that the winner of the competition would score a government contract, that Russians named Dmitri are particularly insightful when it comes to who is going to have sex with whom, and that the two options for a computer’s future are basically world domination or Pong. Once John and Cam got out of school — where Cam had a particularly sociopathic visit with the grief counselor sent to deal with the suicide of Roof Jumping Girl — they swung by the tourney, only to see Andy lose to the Japanese team. Which was good for Andy because now Cam didn’t have to kill him, and bad for plot logic because while I understand the Japanese team wasn’t in the Skynet file whence we got Mr. Goode, they have still built a thinking computer and I don’t quite get why they’re not qualified to bring about the apocalypse.
NEXT: Family reunions