¡Hola from Miami, rose lovers! Actually, let me clarify: Juan Pablo is in Miami. I am buried under an ever-growing pile of snow here in New York, and just fantasizing about being in Miami so I don’t lose what’s left of my sanity. It’s been a long winter, folks, and it’s only Feb. 18.
Anyhow, Juan Pabs is giddy to be back in his home city – and even giddier about the prospect of “surprising” Camila. (I’m guessing the camera crew filming her coloring session may have tipped her off. The girl is 4, not blind.) Still it’s really sweet to watch her dash into her Daddy’s arms for hugs and smooches. Meanwhile, in the Not-Yet-Rejected Limo, the “ladies” are wondering if this trip to Miami means a meeting with Juan Pablo’s family – perhaps even his pequeña amor – will be in order. But Sharleen is secretly praying to whatever god she worships that she gets the one-on-one date so she can determine if she even wants to make it to hometowns. “At this moment I’m not ready to introduce Juan Pablo to my family,” she admits. That’s too bad, because at this moment Juan Pablo is gushing to his cousin about how “elegant” and “classy” and “sexy” Sharleen is. “She could be the one,” he raves. Bro hug!
Shortly thereafter the Bachelor arrives at the hotel and presents the one-on-one date card directly to Sharleen, who accepts it with the same mix of poorly-disguised discomfort and feigned happiness that she displays whenever he hands her a rose. (At least this time she didn’t call him “sir.”) Nikki stares daggers at Sharleen as the opera singer runs upstairs to get ready and worry about how she’s missing that “cerebral connection” with Juan Pablo. Toots, if that’s what you need, catch a cab to the airport now. After all, God doesn’t give with both hands.
Next, they’re on a boat, sailing around Miami, while Sharleen finds herself cast adrift in the waters of uncertainty. “I have moments where I’m like, ‘We’re great together!’” she complains, “and then other moments I’m like, ‘Why am I here? I feel like we don’t get each other.’” So they make out for awhile on the deck, because Sharleen finds Juan Pablo “ridiculously sexy,” and it’s easier to suck his face than pick his brain about what, if anything, they really have in common. Later on a secluded beach, the opera singer gives Juan Pablo vague assurances that she has “different priorities” now than she did in the past, and that “change is good.” So that means… she’ll quit her job or take a position in some Miami-based opera company? That seems to be Juan Pablo’s interpretation. “Mmmmm,” he purrs. “I like that.”
When night falls on the duo, they’re still making out on the deck of the boat. Indeed, they’re kissing so much, Sharleen says “it disturbs me… I should be able to have a conversation [with him].” When they do come up for air to talk, the conversation doesn’t quite reach the intellectual heights Sharleen aspires to:
Juan Pablo: I like the words that you use. I’m learning.
Sharleen: What word did I just use?
Juan Pablo: I don’t know. The words you use in general.
Though Sharleen doesn’t give a very encouraging answer when Juan Pablo asks how she feels about him meeting her family (“I think I can do it,” she stammers), the Bachelor doesn’t seem to notice any of the red flags.
NEXT: It’s a family affair