Just for fun, I’m going to begin this week’s recap with some synonyms for “difficult” that are not “hard,” because let’s be honest, the vocabularies on this show are “brutal.” Take your pick:
Everybody good? If I asked you to describe Kaitlyn’s week, what would you say? Personally, I’d call it a sh-t show, but hey, I never claimed to have a particularly impressive vocabulary.
We kick off act one of Kaitlyn’s sob fest right where we left off last week: Shawn is in Kaitlyn’s room, where his freak out is completely freaking her out. (Not to self: Next time, list synonyms for “freak out.”)
Sitting on Kaitlyn’s couch, Shawn asks if Kaitlyn is in love with him. Her response: “I’m falling in love with you.” It seems good enough for Shawn? I can’t really tell; his face hasn’t changed in the last three episodes. And just as things seem to be going well, with Kaitlyn leaning in to kiss him, he lets this one slip: “I don’t know if I can do this.”
It’s not the best timing, but it certainly catches Kaitlyn’s attention. After a brief moment of sheer panic, she tells him that as much as it sucks watching her kiss other guys after she all but told him that he’s the one during their “off-camera time” in Texas, he’s got to deal with it. It’s the name of the game, bro.
So, after a reassuring make-out, Shawn heads back out into the hallway with his beer in hand.
Meanwhile, Kaitlyn is still half-convinced that he knows the truth about her intimate night with Nick. (Yes, because he totally seems like the type of guy not to absolutely lose his mind over something like that.)
Cut to the next day, where Shawn is clearing his head outside while Tanner and Nick discuss how much Shawn hates Nick. Spoiler: It’s a lot.
Kaitlyn, feeling guilty for pretty much everything, has to refocus because she has a two-on-one date today with Joe and JJ. As she sums them up, JJ is attractive, funny, and edgy. (But really, he is none of those things.) Joe, on the other hand, is hilarious, romantic, sweet, and a real treat. Based on those summaries alone, it’s safe to assume Joe is screwed. Nobody wants to sleep with “a real treat.”
Heading to the date, JJ declares that today is “the biggest day of my recent life.” Sorry to break it to you JJ, but you only get one life. Regardless, we all know how JJ is feeling: Confident, even though he plans to tell Kaitlyn about the biggest regret of his life today. (Not his recent life; his whole life.) And no, sadly he’s not apologizing for his wardrobe.
But we’ll get to that in a minute. First, we have to go on an awkward boat ride with both men throwing their arms around Kaitlyn and, let’s be real, probably each other.
The big date plan? A picnic for three, during which Joe quickly steals Kaitlyn away to tell her that he’s falling in love with her—as if she couldn’t already tell from the passion in his kisses.
JJ, taking a totally different approach to the date, decides it’s time to come clean to Kaitlyn so that they can build their relationship on “rock, not sand.” Clearly, Kaitlyn forgot to use “wise” when describing him.
Prepared to “completely humble himself today”—for the first time—and show “the worst of me”—for arguably the third time, at least—JJ tells Kaitlyn that three years ago, he cheated on his wife. (This is where you pretend you’re shocked.)
NEXT: Is JJ still feeling confident?