Ahoy, rose lovers! Welcome to “the television event of the summer”! And no, I’m not talking about Broadchurch – but only because that starts next week. I’m talking instead about part one of the final leg of Desiree’s “journey,” which brings us to the island of Antigua, a.k.a. the perfect place to both fall in love and shoot a music video.
As Des sails into harbor on the S.S. Time-Filling Flashback, she can’t help but reflect on all the “rough times” (Brian, Bryden, James) and “tough goodbyes” (Brandon, Michael, JUAN PABLO, Zak) she had to endure in order to make it all the way here. At the very least, though, she’s wound up with three totally acceptable men: Chris, who has “masculine qualities,” “awkwardness,” and “boyish charm”; Drew, who is “romantic” and “passionate,” and whose looks are “off the chart”; and finally, Brooks, who is “set apart” from the other guys because when Des looks at him, she sees “my future.” (Okay, so why are we going through this two-part finale again?)
But go through it we are, rose lovers, and first up is Drew, who meets Des at a sugar plantation called Betty’s Hope. (Because he’s so sweet – get it? Awwww.) They hit the road in a rented jeep, stopping occasionally to smooch, take selfies, and buy tchotchkes. (“We’re going to keep these forever!” declares Drew, who is not at all delusional.) When a local vendor makes a heart out of palm fronds for the couple and demands that they kiss (“Intense!” he urges), Des can’t get enough. “I’m loving life right now,” she tells Team Bachelorette. Later over a pineapple picnic, Drew wants Des to know that everything he said on the hometown dates – primarily, “I love you,” – was sincere. “Oh, everything you always say is sincere!” replies Desiree. “That’s why I always trust you.” (Wait… is this foreshadowing? Is Drew now going to do something untrustworthy… or am I just being paranoid?)
The evening brings rain, ruining Des’ plans for a bonfire on the beach, so she takes Drew back to the Fantasy Suite instead. He chooses to forgo his individual room, as you might imagine, but rather than getting right down to business, Drew and Des decide to warm up with a little talk about their emotional needs. “It’s all about finding person who you want to spend the rest of your life with,” says Drew. Adds Des, “I really, really need communication, because my ex-boyfriend, he couldn’t communicate….. He couldn’t compliment.” Wait, why are we hearing this all again? She already told Chris about her ex the “terrible” communicator. Is this more foreshadowing… or am I just being paranoid? Probably the latter, because Drew is currently telling Desiree that he could “get down on one knee right now… I was ready a couple of weeks ago.” Ok, Team Bachelorette, you heard Drew – it’s time to leave. The rose-petal-strewn bed awaits!
Huh, this is odd. It’s time for Brooks’ segment, but rather than running to meet Des on some Antiguan beach, he’s strolling in a chilly-looking park in Boise, Idaho. “I love my relationship with Desiree, I do. She’s such a sweet, sweet person,” he muses. “And I keep wondering why it is that I’m not at the stage yet to say to Desiree that I love her.”
NEXT: Brooks admits he’s “really uncomfortable”