Prepare to dream sweet dreams of sleeping with sharks tonight because part three of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills season 6 reunion is here, and they’ve clearly saved the best bits for last. Yes, we do mean the inevitable Munchausen showdown to end all uses of the term here and forevermore will happen, but also there’s an extra persnickety guest cameo coming in to introduce some salt to the various wounds (one word: ouch!), and we’ll finally find out what the Lisas next quarter century of knowing each other will look like.
So, feast on some gray camel meat — actually, don’t do that — sip on something bubbly, and enjoy all the most savory bites of WHAT the RHOBH are dishing out to end this crazy season.
LVP SPILLS THE BAD BEANS
Last week ended on a teary-eyed cliffhanger as Andy Cohen gave the floor to Lisa Vanderpump to open up about the abusive relationship she’d mentioned in her blog. Part three, predictably, picks up right where she left off, muttering “once” through ragged, sobby breath in answer to whether or not her former flame had ever hurt her. “Once, then twice, then I left him,” she adds. “But over a little time. You know what? I don’t think I’ve cried about it since it happened. And I don’t think I’ve even dwelt on that.”
Andy Cohen presses the issue to question why it is that she brought it up on the blog platform later on instead of sharing with Eileen to help forge a little friendship fire between them, but LVP explains that at the time she hadn’t talked to hubby Ken about it. “My husband was there. I didn’t feel like it was the right time.” Fair enough because victim-shamers to the left, but it still seems like her tears might be just a smidge too crocodile-ish until Kathryn steps in to confirm that she’s seen this elusive, super-sensitive side of LVP before, so her emotion here isn’t just for the cameras.
BACKSTABBERY AND THE THE C-WORD
LVP’s still squarely in the crosshairs when it comes to the culmination of Erika and Kathryn’s tiff, too, because, yeah, they were talking about her. Or at least Erika was. Kathryn purposefully kept coy during their friendship-building meet-cute, and the reason was that she fully intended to tuck tail and run back to Mama Housewife (whom she may or may not have referred to as a “harmless old lady”) with all the juiciest morsels from the smack-talk sesh — yes, the infamous “sniper from the side” incident.
Is Kathryn sorry for double-crossing her at the very first opportunity? Yeppers. She might’ve originally snapped back “that’s on you” when confronted before, but now she agrees she “handled it wrong, 100 percent.” And how about that time she was super snippy with Erika’s husband the first time she ever stepped foot in her home? Yeah, that one was a facepalm, too. But this is all in the past because that one little hug-apology she gave to Erika to own up to her rudeness was plenty enough to start fresh. “Kathryn and I are on the road to a real friendship. We got off to a bad start. She apologized. I accepted. We’re moving on,” says Erika in the single most mature moment of the entire episode. (But for what it’s worth, Kathryn and everyone else for that matter still aren’t fully onboard with the use of “c–ty” as a routine adjective, but what can ya do?)
BRANDI BUZZES IN
No one’s more annoyed to see Brandi Glanville pop up on the screen with her wine-soaked 2 cents than LVP. Yolanda thinks it’s only fair for the cast-off to get her moment to speak since Kim Richards also had a shot, but the second she bursts in with all her “cheers, bitches” shenanigans, LVP’s eye-rollage reached extraordinary new levels, especially after she tags her as “a genius…at changing the narrative.”
“You were unfortunately a puppeteer for me. I did do your dirty work for you, and I’m sorry for that, and that will never happen again,” she promises LVP after calling Kyle two-faced (“You are one person when you’re around Vanderpump, and you’re a completely other person when she’s not in your life,” she said) and saying that Lisa Rinna is “nuttier than squirrel poo.” Wait, did she just make a solid case for her return? Nahhh…but maybe?
(Of course, it’s worth noting that the cutdowns the Housewives whip out after her airtime is done — ranging from “I don’t even follow her on Twitter” à la LVP to a well-timed “Who?” from Lisa Rinna — were masterfully delivered all their own.)
NEXT: What we’ve all been waiting for…