We asked for answers; we got answers. Not only did this week’s TVD episode reveal who Caroline’s future fiancé is, but it also answered who the twins were, who was living inside of Jo’s body, and what Lily wears to bed. Of course, we didn’t get all the answers — why Julian is such an a-hole is still left unanswered — and a few more mysteries cropped up to keep us intrigued.
Let’s start with that shocking revelation: Alaric is Caroline’s fiancé. Yes. Three years in the future, Damon is talking with Ric about kitchen towels and glitter when Caroline, RIC’S FIANCÉE, comes on the TV with blood dripping down her forehead and says, “I have an urgent message for Stefan Salvatore.” What are the chances that Stefan watches local Dallas news? I’m guessing not high, but we’ll have to find out that answer in a future episode.
Because now, in the present, Stefan is dreaming about taking a kid named Jacob hunting and losing him. This seems very much like a flashback, and it could be a memory, but Stefan losing a son he never had feels way too much like a metaphoric dream. We don’t get to see the end of the dream/memory, though, because Caroline wakes him up. She wants to know why he’s sleeping on the couch, but Valerie in a towel soon solves that mystery.
Caroline doesn’t even know about the child Stefan and Valerie created, but she’s ready for this here-bitch to be gone. She offers to drive Stefan’s first lover to the airport, but Valerie says she has to get rid of Julian before she can go anywhere. See, turns out being locked in the Phoenix Stone turns people mad, and Julian has been in there for more than 100 years. She doesn’t want to stick around and see how he retaliates to her setting him on fire.
He’s not mad at the moment; he’s just fighting with Beau in the house. Lily tells them to stop it because they have to get the Boarding House ready for a peace party. She’s inviting the whole town, which means Stefan, Damon, Bonnie, Matt, and Enzo. But that wouldn’t be a real peace party, so Lily compels a few locals from nearby towns to liven up the shindig. Damon doesn’t want to go. He wants Lily to enjoy her life with Julian — for exactly six months, when maximum happiness has set in, so then he can kill Julian and really hurt his mother. Lily’s other loving son wants to kill her boyfriend tonight. What a family.
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Damon decides to attend the party simply to stop his brother from killing Julian so that he can kill him himself six months later. (This is getting complicated.) Also, he missed his stash of bourbon. Damon prods Stefan repeatedly throughout the party to explain why he needs Julian dead so quickly, but he never gives the full answer… He keeps saying it’s not his secret to tell. Stefan doesn’t want to deal with battling his brother, so he enlists the help of the one and only Matt Donovan.
Matt takes out Damon with his own bourbon: He vervains it and then vervains him even more with a syringe to the neck. With Damon out of the way, Stefan goes to the kitchen to stab Julian and throw him in the fire. But when Lily comes in and saves him, Stefan loses his nerve. Damon comes to just in time to get the fallout from the attempted murder on Julian: The crazy vamp says how in the Phoenix Stone he dreamed every day that he killed Lily. And then he attacks her sons in real life because they don’t respect her… or something like that. She tries to stop him, but he almost ends up staking her in the process.
Back at the Lockwood mansion, where Damon and Stefan are licking their wounds (get it? a dog joke!), Stefan finally tells Damon why he’s so eager for Julian to die posthaste: He killed his unborn son. Like any good brother would, Damon agrees to help Stefan kill Julian now, and abandon the six-months-from-now plan.
NEXT: Body snatching twins