Tonight, many rounds come down to one decision: Do you like the Cute Singer or the Weird Singer? On one side, you’ve got the bow-tie-wearers and the puppy-serenaders and Cee Lo stroking his giant white cat. On the other side, you’ve got… the bow-tie-wearers and the puppy-serenaders and Cee Lo stroking his giant white cat.
So, yeah. Tough call! Let’s start with Team Cuteness…
TEAM ADAM: Pip vs. Nathan Parrett
Okay, before we get into this round: Pip! His name is Pip. Is there nothing more adorable? It’s the sound a baby bird would make if it drank too much gin and couldn’t stop hiccupping. Pip!
And speaking of gin, the guy knows just how to work (and work, and work!) every syllable of the word Tanqueray-aaaay on Amy Winehouse’s “You’re No Good.” Alanis Morissette warns him not to “over-sing.” But from the early moments of rehearsals, he seems way more confident than Nathan, who immediately confesses, “Dude, my audition was awful.” Adam even insists that Pip “hasn’t had a sour note” since the auditions. To be honest, I think that Nathan actually has the better, stronger, clearer voice. There’s just one major problem with his performance: He doesn’t really understand what to do with his hands. Shove them in his pockets? Cross his arms? Reach out and pet the soft, fluffy fur on Pip’s head?
When it’s time for the real battle, Nathan is no match for His Pipness, who’s by far the showier performer, gripping the microphone and closing his eyes and extending ev-er-y note. But neither of these guys can bring the swagger that Winehouse brought to the original song. Though they’re both technically on point, both in terms of pitch and the overall quality of their voices, I find the whole performance pretty boring. Somehow, though, the coaches discover something special in Pip. Maybe it’s the bow tie. Or the suspenders. Or the plaid pants. Or the fact that Adam carries Pip around in his pocket while Pip cleans his paws with his tongue.
Sorry, I’ll stop! Whatever it is, the coaches like him. Christina hears a bit of Broadway in his voice. (“It’s the pants,” Blake jokes. “Why are you checking out his pants?” Christina quips.) I agree with Cee Lo, who thinks that Nathan’s delivery is a little cooler than Pip’s. But Blake believes that Pip’s got better range than Nathan, and Adam agrees. He picks Pippy Plaid Pants. “I’m overwhelmed with excitement!” squeaks Pip.
Me? I’m overwhelmed, too—with a great big feeling of meh. Sorry Pip!
NEXT: Cee Lo referees the most WTF battle ever