“That was SOOOO WEEEEEIRD!”
That’s what Christina Aguilera said after spying an old Mickey Mouse Club friend on the Voice premiere. And anyone who heard her was probably thinking, I know, right? As the coaches kicked off the second season, the weeeeeirdness was everywhere.
There was Cee Lo, fiendishly stroking that white cat, looking like Dr. Evil with Mr. Bigglesworth (or maybe more like Dr. Claw and M.A.D. cat), before spinning around in his Supervillain Chair. There was the opera singer who performed in a magical language (Italian) that country singers don’t understand (at least, not according to Blake Shelton). And there was, as Carson Daly put it, “a man from Christina’s past” who showed up on stage… and that man wasn’t just Carson Daly.
And yet, so far, weeeeeirdness is good! Already, it seems guaranteed that this season can’t not be awesome. The talent level is higher. Christina is mouthier. Adam is cockier. Cee Lo’s sunglasses are bigger. Blake is… well, Blake-ier, with a charm that’s made from that special brand of cornball that’s only grown in Nashville. And I’m so glad I’ve got a whole season’s worth of the four of them left to go.
The coaches got their first chance to bicker over a bright-eyed, blonde-haired 17-year-old named RaeLynn, who sang Pistol Annies’ awesome man-hunter anthem “Hell on Heels.” It was co-written by Miranda Lambert, who happens to be Blake’s wife, and as Carson pointed out, Blake usually doesn’t like it when kiss-ups try to cover his wife’s songs. So RaeLynn had a lot to overcome right from the start. Before she took the stage, the wholesome Texan was shown brushing horses, exclaiming, “Purdy!” and otherwise shoring up her wholesome image. “Anything my mom or dad tells me to do, I do it,” she promised.
Now, that’s probably the wrong attitude to take when you’ve chosen a song that may or may not be about killing a guy just so that you can use his credit card. But RaeLynn did alright. Her voice was a little too fluttery for my tastes, and despite the pink streak in her hair, she didn’t have enough rebel fire in her to carry off a Miranda Lambert song. But boy did she inspire some choice bickering between Adam and Blake, who both pushed their “I WANT YOU” buttons. Blake: “I can make you a country star.” Adam: “Why would you want to be just a country star? Wouldn’t you want to be even bigger than that?” (That sound you just heard was Miranda Lambert loading her shotgun.) Though, in the end, RaeLynn’s mommy and daddy must’ve told her to pick Blake, because he was left with the gloating rights. “I may be just a country star,” he tweeted, “but I’m kicking @adamlevine’s rockstar [butt].”
NEXT: Cee Lo teaches Christina that sluttiness is colorblind.