It’s secret weapon night on The Voice, and everyone’s bringing props.
Blake brings his ACM award, which looks like a tiny radio tower that’s transmitting his ego all the way from Nashville. Cee Lo brings Lady, who’s a dirty bird just like him. Christina brings her black lace fan, maybe to cool off anyone who gets a good look at her shirt (or lack thereof). And Adam brings… well, Adam doesn’t bring anything. But did he mention that he’s friends with Stevie Wonder? ‘Cause maybe he can slip him in his pocket.
First contestant Melanie Martinez has a secret weapon of her own: she’s a photographer. She shows Carson a photo she took of a woman freeing butterflies from a cage. ”Where are your butterflies gonna be when you go on our stage?” asks Carson. “Will they be like this? Flying away?” Oh, Carson. Our butterflies are right here, groaning.
Melanie wants to sing “Toxic,” which is kind of a bold move. Singing a track by an X Factor judge? Right now, Britney Spears is making the Oops! face. Even though Melanie is adorable, her voice is way too affected for me (and so is her Mall-Punk Minnie Mouse outfit). Why does every hipster girl on this show have to pretend she’s a 1930s jazz singer? And—gah!—why is she playing a tambourine with her feet? Somehow, she earns three coaches’ affections, but she says, ”I ultimately want to go with someone who will let me express my creativity. Someone who will let me be me.” And that’s… Adam? All right, Melanie. But when it comes to letting you be you, in all of your totally-bananas glory, I think this guy might be a better match.
(I want to talk about the next contestant, but then I’d have to mention that one-hit-wonder Cupid sang a song by one-hit-wonder Cupid—and got turned down! So let’s just pretend that never happened, okay?)
Moving on! Friendly bald guy Brian Scartocci delivers a raspy-smooth version of “Isn’t She Lovely,” letting out an “Oooooww!” that inspires a “Whooo!” from Christina. His secret weapon? He’s a single dad, so he understands the implications of this father-daughter love song. And musically, he makes a fairly convincing Stevie Wonder, even though Adam feels compelled to point out, ”You don’t look like Stevie.” Really? Not even during Stevie’s white-guy-with-a-shaved-head years? Anyway, Adam should know: he’s friends with Mr. Wonder. “I’ve had the honor of singing with him multiple times,” he tells Brian. “I’d love to see you sing together.” And with that, Brian chooses Stevie… I mean Adam. Sorry! They look so much alike, I keep mixing them up.
NEXT: A love story for the ages! (Or at least until Katy Perry returns from outer space.)