Kelsey McNeal/Bravo
Archana Ram
November 18, 2010 AT 01:04 PM EST

Before I delve into the final showdown last night, I have to share two thoughts that were competing for attention in my brain last night moments before the winner was announced.

First, I still can’t believe I was on vacation last Wednesday night, the same week that Zac was eliminated. True, he is the definition of crazy-pants, what with his disco dust and blue cake, but I dare you to show me another person this season who’s been truer to himself—and one who can somehow make disco work in almost any situation. (Emphasis on “almost any.”)

Second, Yigit has a boyfriend?! Ugh, of course. I’m sure gay men and, let’s face it, some women, are still hurting from that revelation.

Okay, now that I’ve got those things off my chest, let’s move on.

Last night’s finale opened with the same offensive sentiments that left a bad taste in some of your mouths last week. “Zac is an annoying little fairy,” Morgan said, kicking his “like a little girl” insult up a notch. Is Morgan actually homophobic? The (well-edited) video evidence might make some of you think so, but “ignorant moron with no tact” is probably the description we can all agree upon.

After Morgan spouted off another insult (“[Zac] acted like a bitch and he went home like one.”), Gail was on hand to announce the final challenge: Create a progressive four-course dessert menu to serve to 12 elite members in the pastry world. A fairly unsurprising task for a finale, but what came next was a good and shocking twist.

Downstairs waiting in a bordello, er, restaurant, Johnny tried his best to get into peer mentor role, as he swirled his cocktail and revealed that pastry pros Sherry Yard, Claudia Fleming and Elizabeth Faulkner would serve as the finalists’ sous chefs. I’d say that was the right time for a Danielle facial tick: “That’s like being a director and having Steven Spielberg, Ron Howard and Martin Scorsese…it’s like HUH?!”

She got Elizabeth Faulkner, while Yigit got Sherry Yard and the pairs got along quite well. (I particularly loved how adorable Yigit and Sherry were.) But Morgan, being the arrogant, insensitive guy that he is was totally rude to Claudia, talking to her like a child, not the, oh I don’t know, superstar pastry chef that she is. They may be two different personality types—she’s old school, he’s chemical-loving—but Morgan could’ve been paired with a judge who would be deciding his fate, and he’d still create problems. “Will [Claudia] approve or will she just think I’m some ass clown who doesn’t belong here?” Morgan wondered. His words; not mine!

Sherry and Yigit had a nice rhythm going, and though I’d like to say the same about Danielle and Elizabeth, it was a little kooky to see the latter woman shelling pistachios. Shouldn’t Danielle have been poaching tips from her?

Well, if Danielle was saving Elizabeth’s skills for day two, it was a waste, because on the second day, the three finalists were in for yet another surprise: no professional sous chefs. Instead, they used the cookie jar to pick a new assistant from the crop of eliminated contestants through this season. (Seth was, of course, noticeably absent.)

NEXT: Is that karma or just plain sabotage?

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