John P. Johnson/HBO
Mandi Bierly
September 05, 2011 AT 07:35 AM EDT

True Blood

TV Show
Current Status
On Hiatus
run date
Stephen Moyer, Anna Paquin
Sci-fi and Fantasy, Drama

Who else is hoping the Marnie story line wraps itself up in next week’s season finale? Fiona Shaw has been wonderful on the show (awkward high-five!), but after this episode, my patience has grown as thin as Jessica’s (“I’m so sick of silverin’ myself all day every day, being pissed off all the time. This is what PMS used to feel like”). And Pam’s (“Can we blow up these Wiccan dips—s already? I got a mani-pedi at 4”).

Let’s begin with the Battle of Moon Goddess Emporium. After Marnie stabbed Casey, one of her innocent captives, in the chest with a knife, Antonia wanted to severe ties with her. Cue Lafayette’s brilliant line, “Oh s—. Marnie just puked a bitch out,” which I predict is already on a T-shirt somewhere. Lafayette was the only one who could see the argument, which ended with Marnie doing a binding spell to suck Antonia back into her. I’d like to think that look of indigestion Marnie had was Antonia working some kind of spell, like a stink bomb.

As Bill, Eric, Jessica, and Pam were about to mount their assault, Jason ran up and told them to stop. Sookie was inside. Jason reminded Eric that Sookie had taken him into Eric’s her home and Bill that she’d save his life so many times and had been his personal soda fountain. Bill said they’d find another way. Eric agreed. Pam was pissed: “Holy s—, gentlemen. Do not tell me you’d put our entire species at risk for a gash in a sundress.” It’s a good thing Jason stopped them though and warned them about the protective shield. Is it really smart for vampires to be firing rocket launchers at something that sends fire back at them? (Is it, Pam?) Before Bill and Eric could think of Plan B, the two Louisiana sheriffs Marnie controlled pounced on them.

Meanwhile inside, Jesus pretended Casey still had a pulse and asked Marnie, who didn’t want to look like a cold-blooded murderer in front of her captives, if he could try to save her. She said yes, and didn’t mind when he and Lafayette carried Casey’s dead body to the bathroom, or when Jesus gathered ingredients from the store (along with Marnie’s scarf) to do a spell that would force Antonia out of Marnie’s body. Holly and Sookie took the opportunity to try to bond with Marnie and tell her they’re all on her side. Sookie understands what it’s like to be an outsider who finally feels some respect. Marnie had all the power now, and she could end this standoff.

When we next saw Bill and Eric, the male sheriff Marnie controlled was a pile of blood, and the female was on the ground with Eric’s foot on her throat and Bill snarling at her (I laughed at that). Pam had my favorite line of the episode: “Wait. Vintage Cartier. I’ll take good care of this,” she said, removing the woman’s necklace. “It’s alright. Go ahead.” Bill had hoped there was a way to save her, but once she started talking, Bill was over dealing with Marnie’s minion. He yelled for Marnie to stop hiding behind the magic — she wasn’t a coward. She agreed. She took Sookie outside with her to negotiate — after she put on her badass leather jacket. Marnie commanded the sheriff to attack Bill again, and he threw her into the protective shield. Turns out, it’s the power of the sun harnessed, which means vampires cannot penetrate it and die pretty much on contact. Bill asked for Sookie to be set free, and Eric joined in demanding it. Marnie said she’d need something in return — for both Bill and Eric to kill themselves. Bill agreed. Then Eric. “Good one,” Pam laughed. “Don’t laugh too much. You wouldn’t want your lips to fall off,” Marnie said.

NEXT: Eric looks really hot when he paces.

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