John P. Johnson/HBO
Mandi Bierly
July 09, 2012 AT 06:17 AM EDT

True Blood

TV Show
Current Status
On Hiatus
run date
Stephen Moyer, Anna Paquin
Sci-fi and Fantasy, Drama

Every episode of True Blood this season has felt a bit like that love scene between Alcide and Sookie: There’s a build up, but instead of reaching a climax, the action stops short. Enough with the foreplay! This season needs to get it on already. With Russell located, a fire monster in play, and masked bigots taking out shifters, it could be go time. Then again, with so many story lines to set up, the writers may tease us a little longer (Jesus’ head?). Let’s dig in.

We start with that hot hookup: How does 6’5” Joe Manganiello fit on that couch? That couldn’t have been comfortable. Lucky for him, they didn’t stay there long. I’m thinking it was his Magic Mike hip action that made Sookie decide she was done talking. Alcide carried her up the stairs to her bedroom, like he was straight out of The Notebook. Truth: Him lifting her was probably just practical — how else would they get face-to-face with the height difference? Even hotter: him taking off his belt and saying, “I’ve waited so long for this.” She caressed his abs, as naturally you would, and said his name. I thought she was going to pass out and fall backward, but it was worse — she puked on his shoes. Of course, that is the moment Eric and Bill made their presence known. “Alcide, you sure know how to treat a lady,” Eric said.

When we next saw the foursome, they were in the kitchen. Sookie was wearing a T-shirt similar in color to the lingerie she wore in her threesome dream with Eric and Bill last season. Coincidence, because Anna Paquin just happens to look great in that color, or a playful nod by the costume designer? Sookie was trying to sober up and hydrate, and the boys were fighting over whether Alcide’s worker Doug had to get involved in all this. Bill wanted Sookie to try to de-glamour him, since he was the only one who knew who’d freed Russell. In her drunken mind, Sookie heard them barking at each other. All she could do was laugh: She thought if she made the choice to be with neither Bill nor Eric, she could actually live a normal life. But here they are again, and bonus, a 3,000-year-old vampire (Russell) wants to suck her blood. “Must be Thursday!” She put on her coat and that was that — the search is on. Good thing Tara had broken the window so Sookie could make her exit there instead of having to take the slow walk to the front door. Far less effective.

They went to see Doug at the parking garage and Sookie held his hand and read his mind. She could see back to that night. Bill knew from Sookie’s description of a pendant that the woman who’d freed a skinless Russell was a female member of the Authority. Bill assumes it was Nora, but Eric insists he didn’t tell her anything about them burying Russell. (He looked like he might be lying though.) Cougar Town’s Barb wears pearls, so she’s out. We’re supposed to think it’s Nora, but I still believe Nora is covering for Salome. Both of them wear the pendant.

Salome asked Dieter for an update on Bill and Eric’s whereabouts. He told her they’d visited the home of a local waitress, and then a Kwik-E-Mart for a jumbo coffee and box of Nutter Butters, and then a parking facility in Shreveport. (How did he know about the coffee and Nutter Butters? I assume those were for Sookie. Did Bill expense them? Can Dieter check their credit card records?) Salome told Dieter to have Bill and Eric informed that they had until dawn to bring in Russell, or their iStakes would be activated.

NEXT: Doug is awesome

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