It’s officially the end of summer, rose lovers. Sure, Big Brother is still on. Sure, it was nearly 90 degrees (and 140,000 percent humidity) in New York City this weekend. But when a Bachelor spin-off airs its season finale—whether it’s Bachelor Pad, Bachelor in Paradise, or Cody and Chris’ Workout Fun Times, Great Job!—it’s essentially time to put on your chunky knits and start drinking pumpkin spice lattes.
Just one… more… week, rose lovers. If Chris Harrison hadn’t told us so in his blog last week, I wouldn’t have believed it. As one astute commenter pointed out, there are so many Bachelor/Bachelorette rejects—all of whom seem to have extremely flexible work hours—that Bachelor in Paradise could theoretically go on as long as Coronation Street.
Welcome to part two of this week’s Bachelor in Paradise biathlon. I hope everyone is staying hydrated and that your vaccines are up to date.
Well, rose lovers, I’m not going to pretend I understand why Team BiP chose to subject us to two episodes this week—and one on Emmy night, no less. But as members of Bachelor Nation, ours is not to question why… because if we start doing that, how many of us would remain members of Bachelor Nation? Exactly.
Leave it to Team Bachelor in Paradise to teach us a valuable life lesson: It really is about the “journey,” not the destination. How do I know this? Because after three weeks, something became very clear to me—this show has no freaking point! Can anyone actually “win” Bachelor in Paradise? And if they do, what’s the “prize”—entering the Guinness Book of World Records for “Recipient of Longest Paid Vacation in Network TV History”?
Happy August, rose lovers! Has everyone had their shots? Excellent. Welcome to The Show that is Totally Bachelor Pad at the Beach But We’re Calling it Something Else for Reasons Unknown!
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