Celebrity Apprentice is coming back to fire more people. EW has confirmed that the reality show has been renewed for season 15 by NBC.
And the winner of Celebrity Apprentice is… us! Yes, we are all winners in any scenario that involves Geraldo Rivera attempting to recall the titles of TV series starring Lorenzo Lamas as well as Donald Trump chair-dancing alongside giant Transformer robots. But, more specifically, the real winner was Leeza Gibbons—her just reward for having to endure a season’s worth of debates and discussions about menstrual cycles and butt implants with a side order of Ian Ziering motivational speeches.
[SPOILER ALERT: Read on only if you have already watched Monday’s season finale of The Celebrity Apprentice.]
We always knew it would come to this. For weeks the Celebrity Apprentice final two seemed etched in stone, which is to say, Eric Trump’s hair. Leeza vs. Geraldo! Resistance was futile. It was always going to be them. It didn’t matter how many tasks Geraldo lost in a row or how many times Leeza politely refused to get drawn into debates and discussions regarding other contestants’ menstrual cycles—the two veteran talk show hosts were on a crash course for the title of Celebrity Apprentice which, in the grand scheme of things, means… absolutely nothing.
Lord knows I hate to complain when it comes to Celebrity Apprentice. SO I WON’T! You see, I was feeling a little blue over the fact that we had a completely Ivanka-free evening of fights and firings during this latest double-shot extravaganza of episodes.
This post discusses plot details of the Celebrity Apprentice episode that aired Feb. 2.
There were seven contestants still vying for the title of Celebrity Apprentice when the night began. But after a Boardroom bloodletting in which Donald Trump fired pretty much anyone and everyone, there were only three left when all was said and done.
“I’m here to learn from you. And I’m not done learning from you, and I don’t want to go home. I admire you and your family. You guys really are the first family of America.” —Kenya Moore to Donald Trump
Donald Trump has been robbed, ladies and gentlemen. Robbed! You know it. I know it. And, most importantly, he knows it. And he wanted to make sure everybody else knew it too during this last episode of Celebrity Apprentice. The whole thing went down when it was revealed that Leeza Gibbons had the absolute audacity to have been the recipient of an Emmy award. Honestly, how dare she? Especially in Donald Trump’s Boardroom. Predictably, The Donald was incredulous. “You got an Emmy?” he blurted out. “I got screwed out of an Emmy. Everybody thought I was going to win it!
My poor wife. Because it is only during the airing of Celebrity Apprentice when it truly dawns on her that she married a pathetic mess of a man. Here are the types of interactions that happen in the Ross household during such an event:
WIFE: “Dalton, could you please help the kids with their homework?” ME: “Not now, dear. I’ve got more important stuff to deal with. Ian Ziering is talking about a pole dancing essay he’s about to write, so…”
WIFE: “Honey, you promised me you’d take care of those dinner dishes.”
My love affair with The Celebrity Apprentice began back in season 1. I can even pinpoint the exact moment when I knew we had something truly special in our midst. It was in that inaugural season when Sopranos star Vincent Pastore concocted an elaborate “rat” scheme to go undercover and pretend to be a traitor to learn all of the secrets of the women’s team.
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