Remember how last week’s RHOA was all about righting racial prejudices, appropriate ages to expose children to real-world injustices, and social activism?
Real emotions… social justice issues… complex family dynamics — what is happening on RHOA this season??? Listen, every Real Housewives franchise usually gets a little dicey around the midseason point when they’ve already taken two group trips, had a couple hundred huge fights, a dozen or so make-up lunches, and at least one on-camera colonoscopy. But Atlanta is taking the midseason shift to a whole other level: This is like a twilight zone where very real issues are being taken on by a barely real show.
Well, there’s just not a lot to say about that one, is there? And especially after catching a glimpse of NeNe, NeNe’s teeth, and NeNe’s ice-skater poncho in the “Next Time On,” it’s hard to think of much else. Let’s see…I think in this episode I remember Cynthia casually asking her teenage daughter for advice on her crumbling marriage; I think Mama Joyce threatened to end Phaedra’s life shortly before asking her for baby shower tips; and at some point, I’m pretty sure Porsha was dipping cheese cubes in caramel and eating them. It’s just so hard to recall!
Honestly, what was happening in this episode? Since when can a girl not just have a private conversation while holding hands with her gal pal during a routine colonoscopy without it being deemed as “taking sides”? I don’t want to stick up for Porsha — I’m really not sticking up for Porsha — but the Kandi Koated Klique has it candy-coated twisted if they think they deserve even two more seconds of screen time.
This Christmas hangover episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta was a bit of a snoozer plot-wise — the most interesting thing that happened was watching Porsha pour bottled water into a coffee mug before drinking it, which…has to be the weirdest thing I’ve seen in 2015 — but because last week’s installment was the definition of way-too-much, I didn’t mind. Plus it featured two of my favorite RHOA things: pregnant Kandi (and pregnant Kandi’s white dress interviews) and precious, forever-our-baby Ayden.
Oh lawd. There is nothing worse in the RHOA world than having to defend Kenya Moore, but let me be upfront: defending Kenya Moore is exactly what’s going to be happening here.
You guys — I maybe kind of love Tammy. I mean, not like I want her to be become a Housewife (don’t worry, I have not forgotten the “Nazi white” comment) or like I even care if she makes the flight back to Atlanta and just lives in that Miami Airbnb forever, but she’s definitely bringing something to the RHOA table right now…
On Sunday night, following a physical altercation between Porsha and Cynthia just ripe for “if this boat’s a-rocking” puns, new “Housewife” Kim Fields uttered one of the best/most hilarious/saddest/most naive lines that’s been on The Real Housewives of Atlanta in some time: “I have a low tolerance for foolishness.” Oh, KIM. Me too, honey, but if that is the case, might I suggest finding a job recapping RHOA rather than being a part of it?
Before we get to You Know What, let me just tell you how this episode of The Real Housewives of Atlanta started: It called into question the popular notion that the institution of marriage validates a woman’s worth within a patriarchal society; and it shed some light on the struggle of many women out there who love their children but feel like their investment in motherhood has caused them to fall out of touch with who they are as individuals.
I’m not kidding, you guys — those are real-ass topics that were briefly touched upon in this fake-ass show.
Hello and welcome to this week’s Real Housewives of Atlanta recap. Allow me to escort you in through the back door so as to avoid Cynthia and Peter in the kitchen shedding single tears while thinking about the back doors of marriage, and Porsha having her back door cleaned out in the living room while Phaedra looks on.
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