Teresa Giudice gets out of prison on December 23, 2015. That means her time is nearly over, and now that we’ve finished the final hour of Teresa Checks In, our time is done, too. Lessons have been learned. (Maybe?) The family has gotten stronger.
What is the point of prison: to punish or to reform?
For a Housewife to really earn her keep, she has to make viewers simultaneously hate her, pity her, and (kind of) want to be her. It requires a careful balance of schadenfreude and envy. If you envy her wealth too much, chances are she’s not blowing enough of her money on tiny-dog jewelry, which means she’s probably too classy to be worthy of your pity. If you pity her too much, there’s no joy in hating her.
Look who’s pokey pen pals?
Watch What Happens Live host Andy Cohen tells EW that he remains in touch with Teresa Giudice, the Real Housewives of New Jersey star who was sentenced to 15 months in prison after she and her husband Joe pleaded guilty to charges of bank, mail, wire and bankruptcy fraud.
Though tonight’s episode mainly dealt with the tumultuous end of the ladies’ Florida vacation, it would be a disservice to not at least acknowledge here the news that came out Thursday regarding Teresa and Joe’s sentencing.
In the wilds of Florida, alligators are known to be very protective of their territory and prefer prey they can swallow whole. In the wilds of New Jersey (a decidedly different type of swamp), husbands can behave in a similar way. But instead of a quick kill when dealing with the enemy, things are drawn out for weeks, months, sometimes even years. For gators, this is due to their slow metabolism. For Jersey men, this is due to their ego.
When one friend is dealing with national legal troubles and the other is still recovering from a potential health scare, it makes total sense to abandon those relationships for a little personal R&R in Florida, right? Well, that’s what Melissa, Dina, and the twins concluded as they began their vacation to Boca Raton without Teresa Giudice—even though the whole trip was planned to get her mind off her recent court hearings—and Amber, who decided last minute not to go when her doctor told her at her five-year cancer checkup that her blood work was inconclusive.
Housewives have a talent for making simple situations way more dramatic than necessary. But they are just the players in the Bravo game. Nine episodes into the season, and the episode title creators have already given us “One Flew Over the Chicken’s Nest” and now “There Will Be Bloodwork,” both nods to Academy Award winning films. Which causes me to think… Amber is already doing her best Daniel Day-Lewis in the way she tries to convince everyone she is their friend, enemy, and victim all at the same time.
Teresa and Joe Giudice aren’t afraid to admit that they have made a lot of mistakes. Some may argue that the biggest one of all was joining the cast of this reality show. Although there is no direct link, it’s easy to make the connection between the Giudices sudden rise to fame and the legal trouble that followed them. Of course paparazzi would not be waiting outside the courthouse for an ordinary New Jersey housewife’s plea deal, but this is Teresa’s life now. And it’s actually pretty devastating to watch.
Love—or something like it—is in the Jersey air. As Valentine’s Day rolls around, the wives and their families have varying opinions about the Hallmark holiday. Let’s take a look at the Jersey housewives’ love statuses.
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