It’s tough to know where to begin with this episode because the only thing that matters, the thing that’s guaranteed to change the relationships and alliances (and lack thereof) among these women forever, happens in the end. Yet, it’s only fair to explain what gets us there first. Buckle up because we’re nose-diving.
I have to be honest, it’s taken me a bit to process what happened on tonight’s episode because an unspoken law in Housewives land was shattered. And, of course, it had to happen while the women were whooping it up on vacation in Ireland — so I’m not sure if rule breaker Kelly thought that meant things don’t count on international soil?
I think — though not totally sure — that Vicki has taken a page out of the Donald Trump playbook of idle threats. You know how the Donald tried to scare Hillary Clinton during the debates last week with the schoolyard tactic of “well, I could say something really bad about you that will really embarrass you but I won’t… or maybe I will… just don’t piss me off too much?” Perhaps I’m paraphrasing a bit there, but it’s essentially what went down — and basically what transpired between Shannon and Vicki tonight.
I feel like tonight was a time to really sit back and take stock of where some of the ladies are in their lives, how their relationships play into that, and what it means for them emotionally. For starters, it’s lovely to see Tamra and Eddie together. He forces Tamra to drink sake — even though she’s five weeks out from her fitness competition and avoiding carbs — because he knows she needs it. He can tell her to “calm her ass down” and she actually abides.
We learned some unexpected new things about the ladies of the OC in “Stage Moms and Dropped Bombs.” For starters, who knew that Shannon’s daughters were in their own little rock & roll band, aptly called “Lock – Ladies of Rock”? We learned that Tamra is an even bigger s— stirrer than we ever thought possible while Vicki is ready to have sex and will make that known even if it means traumatizing her kids. And finally, Shannon is able to forgive — she does have that gene — it just goes dormant in regards to Vicki and her mother-in-law (but way more on that later).
After last week’s shocking dune-buggy accident, this week is all about picking up the pieces and checking in with each of the ladies. First and foremost, Tamra learns she’s well enough to leave the hospital. Instead of making the three-hour drive to Orange County, she decides she’d rather go back to camp and see her friends. There’s still no update on Vicki’s condition, though, other than she’s stable. What is clear is Meghan didn’t get Heather’s hint to go visit Vicki, since we see her lounging in her kitchen talking to Jim about their golfing plans.
This was an episode unlike any other in Real Housewives franchise history. But let’s get some housekeeping out of the way before we dive into Tamra’s weekend of camping and dune-buggy driving in Glamis for Eddie’s birthday. It’s a trip Shannon and Meghan refused to go on, feigning aversions to wild driving, camping, and sand (that would be bad for Shannon’s lungs, in case you were wondering), but what they were really averse to was the presence of Kelly and Vicki. And as a result, this trip unexpectedly changes everything — but more on that in a second.
Maybe it’s just me, but this episode of RHOC was like the equivalent of “opposite day” that gets declared out of nowhere on playgrounds at elementary schools everywhere. Shannon and David are blissed out on their second honeymoon in Mexico, as if the past two years never occurred and there was nary an affair for them to have overcome. It’s nice to see them happy, but we probably saw a little too much of David from the footage of their home videos. We get it, it’s a honeymoon, but wearing pants when the camera’s on is just a nice courtesy for the rest of us!
Let’s be honest: The ladies of the OC are still reeling from Kelly’s crazy outbursts at Meghan’s “night before getting knocked up” party that included an appearance from the c-word. Offensive? Yes. Crude? Totally. Worrisome? 100 percent. But worthy of Heather scolding Kelly like a school girl and leaving the party sobbing? Mmm, well…the jury’s still out on that one. But tonight is all about new beginnings, new perspectives, and glimpses of all the different kinds of crazy Kelly’s harboring.
The common denominator on tonight’s crazy train of an episode is that Jesus has yet to teach Tamra how to stop stirring the pot. Because, well, you know what they say… No good deed goes unpunished, and in this case, I’m talking about the ensuing drama. Since Tamra is throwing Megan a pre-pregnancy bachelorette party (at a sushi restaurant, since preggo ladies can’t eat the stuff), she has to make sure this dinner takes its rightful place in the Housewives Hall of Crazy. Sorry, Allison DuBois and the ladies of Beverly Hills, but this might bump you down to second place.
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