Maybe it’s just me, but this episode of RHOC was like the equivalent of “opposite day” that gets declared out of nowhere on playgrounds at elementary schools everywhere. Shannon and David are blissed out on their second honeymoon in Mexico, as if the past two years never occurred and there was nary an affair for them to have overcome. It’s nice to see them happy, but we probably saw a little too much of David from the footage of their home videos. We get it, it’s a honeymoon, but wearing pants when the camera’s on is just a nice courtesy for the rest of us!
Let’s be honest: The ladies of the OC are still reeling from Kelly’s crazy outbursts at Meghan’s “night before getting knocked up” party that included an appearance from the c-word. Offensive? Yes. Crude? Totally. Worrisome? 100 percent. But worthy of Heather scolding Kelly like a school girl and leaving the party sobbing? Mmm, well…the jury’s still out on that one. But tonight is all about new beginnings, new perspectives, and glimpses of all the different kinds of crazy Kelly’s harboring.
The common denominator on tonight’s crazy train of an episode is that Jesus has yet to teach Tamra how to stop stirring the pot. Because, well, you know what they say… No good deed goes unpunished, and in this case, I’m talking about the ensuing drama. Since Tamra is throwing Megan a pre-pregnancy bachelorette party (at a sushi restaurant, since preggo ladies can’t eat the stuff), she has to make sure this dinner takes its rightful place in the Housewives Hall of Crazy. Sorry, Allison DuBois and the ladies of Beverly Hills, but this might bump you down to second place.
I’ve deemed this Real Housewives episode a palate cleanser. Not a lot happened, but it set up the drama to come à la the fallout from last week’s cuckoo-for-Cocoa-Puffs ‘70s party. Lest you forget, Kelly called David a pedophile AND announced to the party that it was no wonder he cheated on Shannon. If those two things weren’t friendship-ending enough, Kelly made the ultimate dis on Shannon’s prized decade of the ‘70s and told Shannon her costume made her look like Mrs. Roper.
Even though the crux of this seminal episode took place mostly during a ‘70s-themed party, I must borrow a phrase from Gwen Stefani to sum it all up. “This s— is bananas; b-a-n-a-n-a-s!” We start the show right in the middle of an epic, in your face showdown between Vicki and David Beador that spills over into an insane shouting match between Kelly and Shannon. It honestly makes Teresa Giudice’s epic rant of “prostitution whore, engaged 19 times” followed by a table flip look like a peaceful protest. So what happened?
One thing has become clear as we get into episode 4 of the eleventh season — we need more/different drama to emerge because this apology tour of Vicki’s is losing its luster. She’s good at playing the victim because truth is, we’ll never really know how much of this victim role in relation to Brooks and his “cancer” was (is) an act. Brooks is like the ultimate grifter who rolled into town, got his 15 minutes and once Tamra, Shannon, and Heather caught on to his scheme, he rolled right on out of there.
It’s a weird thing that happens when you’ve been watching a reality show that’s been on the air for 10 years. You really start to feel like you know the people whose lives you’ve been following for so long. Vicki Gunvalson has been on the RHOC since episode 1 and in 10 years, we’ve not only watched her life unfold, but also the lives of her kids. I still feel for Vicki and her son Michael every time I think about when her surprising him at college and his resulting mortification.
DUM DUM DUM… so, we ended last week’s season premiere with a cliffhanger. Did Heather’s plan work? Did her speech about life and love and Terry’s health scare smoke out the apology from Vicki that Heather was plotting to retrieve?
Last season of the RHOC was like a multi-episode arc of House as the ladies desperately tried to solve the mystery of whatever ailment Vicki Gunvalson’s long time hustler of a boyfriend Brooks was suffering from. Whatever it was, they know it was not cancer as he claimed. And these women — whose medical expertise likely comes from diagnosing their friends on WebMD — were adamant that they had all the evidence they needed to prove that Brooks lied about everything. Who could forget those calls to Newport Imaging, fake medical records, and conflicting stories from Vicki?
The Real Housewives of Orange County may have celebrated its 10th anniversary in March, but the original series of Bravo’s wildly popular reality franchise isn’t slowing down anytime soon.
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